so I'll just spew what's on my mind right now, especially because I don't have that much time at this moment (9.44 on a tuesday morning). I've come to a point in my studies that I have to do a bachelors-research, which is extremely time consuming and what I've been fearing for all my life as a student here. I always thought that that would be the final point where it could go horribly wrong, the researches done are not particularly easy and I'm not that particularly capable of those things. I am in great luck that my partner, with whom I do the research, is a really smart and nice guy and so far has helped me understood the parts that I didn't really understand yet and knowing that a lot of the research we're doin we both don't understand (we chose a difficult one, what can you do?). Still it's sort of nerve wrecking most of the time, especially when it finally came down to the first week of the research. It was now getting up every day a little earlier than I was used to (it's not that bad, but like I said, you have to get used to it.) and the days are quite long ('till 5pm-ish). You're working the entire day without many breaks, so it's tiring and stressful.
two weeks prior I had nothing, only relaxation time and some other small stuff I had to do. But I coudl relax from the multitude of examinations I had the weeks before. Most of them I passed (yaay!) but one I miserably failed (boo...). The last one is radiative processes, a course where most of the students actually failed. That didn't really make me feel much better when I failed that badly, because it meant that I had to do it over. Now, the retake exam is next monday, so I've been studying hard for it and my nerves are not doing that well on that subject. I hate the course, it's difficult and a lot of it I don't understand. And the extra part that I need need need a pass for this course or else I won't get my diploma doesn't help one bit. SO that's some extra stress on top of everything, and the time I can study for this course is almost only in the evenings, so I don't have that much time.
During last weekend I wanted to study a lot, but I was so tired that I wanted to sleep in a little so I coudl study hard the rest of hte day. In the end I was woken by the alarmclock of my neighbour which was buzzing HARD, at 8 am on a saturday. No, I was not happy. AFter about an hour i finally fell asleep again, only to wake up again an hour later when he slammed his door. The headache i had the day before had been coming back again, not waking up on your own tends to do that when I'm not feeling that well. I fell asleep AGAIN because I was so tired and only 30 minutes later he slammed his door again and this time so hard that it knocked over a glass from my table, I sat upright in my bed immediately. But annoyingly I was still tired....so I tried to wake up but my slight headache was torturing me. I got to studying at around noon.....and I studied up until aroudn 6 with a break of half an hour in between to lunch (and one later on, also half an hour i think?). After that my brain was dead so I didn't study anymore, watched a movie which wasn't that impressive (Quantum of Solace). Studying wasn't that easy that day because my other neighbour was moving, so was makign a lot of noise. It tends to disturb my concentration but it was only until late in the evening that I foudn out that it was actually him moving that was making the noise.
The next day I again started aroudn noon, finally I could get some sleep and slept till 11. sweet sweet sleep... then I studied again until.. about 6 again i think.
That evening, i got into a fight with M. I had been complaining about my neighbour making so much noise and that it had disturbed me while I was trying to study. The only thing I got back was that perhaps I shoudl get up sooner or study at times that he's not moving. But that would mean less sleep, which i just so desperately wanted.... or study later in the day (like: evening), but by that time my brain was already dead. The main point was, I just shouldn't complain that much, which annoyed e intensely. I am completely stressed out, have an important retake to study for, have this new experience called "research" which is time consuming and stressful and all I'm getting is "buck up". I didn't need that at that moment, someone telling me that I shoudl actually just work harder (yes, he said that). Since then my mood has been horrible, especially when he's around. I just don't need this right now.... when that exam is over I will be SO glad.